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Kate Riley's avatar

Oh Clare… thinking of you. I am in complete and utter breakdown and despair right now. I spent Xmas day drugged up with my usual meds plus a big dollop of cannabis resin on my tongue and a bottle of fizz. I’m through Xmas day now and I’m approaching 65 on Saturday. I have no idea why I am still alive when I feel totally deadened and struck down flattened…

But, Here I am! HeyHo Hey bloody Ho…

If I make it I shall be joining you and Kim for the writing hours in January. I have written nothing for perhaps 2 years and I need to write again…

Thank you and love you from the bottom of my heart, KC x

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Mary Powell's avatar

Dear Clare, your beautiful words are so moving, hard earned and hopeful. Thank you. Wishing you and Kim every blessing now and in the years ahead. Mary xx

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

Thank you so much, Mary! I'm wishing you love and happiness too xx

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Deborah Harvey's avatar

Thank you for this, Clare. Solidarity X

And Kate Riley, if you read this - me too. The not-having-written for two years. I'm scoured out and I hear you X

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

sending you so much love, Deborah xxx

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Maureen's avatar

I totally understand those thoughts. They chime with my own.

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Valerie Bence's avatar

Clare, Clare thank you so much for these heartfelt words. Like you I find this time of year - hard. I have children and grandchildren and we are a much loved , tight unit. So, its not that. Ever since lockdown when I was completely alone for 12 weeks and 4 days, I struggle to be me. Sometimes don't feel real at all. I lost a baby on NYE almost 50 years ago - I know, get over it but each year I find myself dreading that time of bells and celebration. Now each NY i wonder if it will be my last - for no good reason (except at 73 one year it will be). I really do try to live in the moment but worry more about the future.

I really came on here to say be so proud of the community you and Kim have created - 300 people, more each year come for you and your words. It gives me such joy to see all our bent heads, in the cold of January, reading writing and thinking. Thank you so much. x

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Kate Riley's avatar

Clare hello again- I’ve just read all this again- and it is most beautifully written and I really feel close to you. My birthday was 28th and, my god, am I glad it’s over now. I’ve done no celebrating and I won’t be doing any. It’s over now. All over and done with. One thing I am looking forward to- January writing hours- Thank you so much Clare and I will do my very best to enter into this. See you very soon. Love you, Kate Calico x

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Elly's avatar

Thanks so much for this post, Clare. I wish both you and Kim a good 2025. xx

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

Thank you so much, Elly - wishing you a very happy 2025! x

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