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Charlotte Ansell's avatar

fab post Clare- Solnaz's poem is brilliant- that shoulding line is spot on. Also your v apposite list poem- fab.

This subject reminds me of a poem i wrote about working as a therapist in a girl's school- i hope it's ok to share an extract from it:

Do not make suggestions that are plainly stupid,

there are those who recommend

pinging a rubber band

instead of taking a razor to a wrist

but this is akin to gritted teeth

in an avalanche. Resist.

Never say it will be OK,

you are here to sit with them in

the tremors and not flinch.

Apparently it is possible to be buried

in snow and still breathe.

Hold still, no one feels listened to

by a fidget. Never check your watch...

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

i absolutely LOVE this, Charlotte!!!!!

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Charlotte Ansell's avatar

aw bless you thanks

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Conny Borgelioen's avatar

Great post and poem! This immediately makes me think of how a unwell person is usually blamed for not becoming better. If you put all the onus of getting well on the sick person, you don't have to fix the sick society.

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Tamara Katzenbach's avatar

That's why i rarely wrote about myself. I started writing poems to change the sick world and my desire has never really gone away.

Shouldify I it away?

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Beth Brooke's avatar

Self-improvement

Obviously, I should go on a diet: losing those three kilos that bulge between me at sixty-seven and my pre-menopausal, pre-babies twenty-something self will make all the difference. I should give myself to charity:

helping others is as good a way as any to tone down self-obsession. And I should count my blessings; read more, doom-scroll less; stop wasting my time watching utter crap on TV. I should try harder. I will try

harder. I should stop voicing opinions, who is interested in them anyway? I should smarten myself up;

I should give a fuck,

but I haven’t got one.

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

That's brilliant, beth! no fucks left to give!

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Ann Grant's avatar

Thanks Clare. I’ve just written this:

Should should should

My once best friend told me to delete should from my vocabulary along with

heroes. Believing us all equal, not wanting to be on a pedestal. Believing in the power of positivity. Believing in the power of song. Until she decided to check out.

There was a time we believed we knew each other so well. We didn’t need language, belongings, heroes. We didn’t do what we should. No amount of positivity could pay our bills or soothe our minds but music could set us free.

She should still be here. I should have been more available to her. She was busy giving up, on language, belongings, heroes, power, positivity, her bills, her mind, her wit, her will. I can still hear her laughing or singing in the places she should be.

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

it's so beautiful, Ann x

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Ann Grant's avatar

Thank you 🙏❤️❤️🤗🤗

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Tim Beard's avatar

Thanks Clare. I have done as you suggest. And the result is below:

Should you

You should drink less

But more water

You should run more

But also weights

You should be grateful

But also remain on the look-out

You should travel more

But also appreciate home

You should listen better

But also not put up with shit

You should put regret away

But also know what to do next

You should tell her you love her more often

But spontaneously

You should change the word should for could in this list

You could do that

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Susan Jordan's avatar

I was very moved by this - by your honesty about your struggles and the way it made me see how after all these years I'm still shoulding all over myself. I don't know if I can write a poem about it, though.

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

ah, thank you, Susan xxxx

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Beth Brooke's avatar

Love this post and the poem. Thought-provoking. I am going to be playing with this all morning! Thank you.

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Mary Powell's avatar

Love this Clare! So much food for thought and so moving! 🙏

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Kim Moore and Clare Shaw's avatar

that's brilliant, Tim - really captures frustration and confusion of being buried in an avalanche of contradictory advice!

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